You were on His mind the entire time as He lay there and willingly died

Written by Lyn Leahz on July 11, 2012

Father, God, in the name of Jesus, I write this to You.  I read it aloud to You as well.  All this You did for me, and what have I done for You?  Since mere words can never convey the greatness in the love You have displayed, all I can say is thank You.  Thank You my Father! 

Thank You for sending Jesus to me…to all of us, but with each one of us personally in Your heart.  And Jesus, You could have raised up Your hand and knocked down every person who opposed You, mocked You, ridiculed and tormented You; but You didn’t, and I am so glad that You didn’t.  You could have removed Yourself from off of that cross of wood, but You chose to lay down Your very life, suffering the most torturous death. 

And here I am…I’ve walked a life of sin, and every time I’ve sinned, I didn’t realize I was crucifying you all over again; I was standing there with the mockers and the haters spitting in Your face, minimizing the importance, the awesomeness of what You did.  I didn’t mean to do that, Lord; but I did. 

And I am so sorry, I will never do that to You again.  I love You.  I know that I can never do anything as great as what You’ve done for me…it is impossible.  I realize there’s a lot responsibility in loving someone; but I don’t care.  I love You, and I commit my ways to You…not some of my ways, but all of my ways! 

When I stumble, Your right hand will hold me up.  When I fall, Your right hand will raise me.  When I am hungry and in need, Your right hand will provide for me.  You, Lord, are magnificent beyond magnificent!  I am Yours.  No matter what the enemy throws my way, I shall always and forever be all Yours. 

And so it is, I write this poem; I’m alive because of You.  Amen.

ALIVE BECAUSE OF YOU ©2013 Lyn Leahz

Yesterday when I was weeping,

and my heart was exceedingly heavy,

Many tears flooded my pillow—

I was hurting, I was lonely, and I was afraid;

But when I couldn’t see, You opened my eyes.

You were right there beside me,

with Your arms lovingly wrapped about my waist.

Your fingers blotted my salted tears,

upon my cheek, you left your trace;

The release of all of the guilt and pain,

collected over the many years,

had suddenly come forth at once;

I felt so alone, and the bed was deathly cold.

My anguish poured out in a violent storm,

as You swept Your scarred hands throughout my hair,

while whispering softly into my ear,

“Why do you not trust Me?

“Was it not I who stole you from the jaws of death,

“countless times throughout your life?

“Was it not your soul I saved,

“When willingly I limped and crawled to My own grave?

“I was beaten, I was spat upon, and things much too painful to repeat;

“Yet I do not regret; I would do it all over again, and again.

“Be still now, My child, and know that We are God,

“The Father, the Holy Spirit and I, His only Son.

“Be calm, do not fear, for I am always near.”

And then there was a meaningful  pause.

“I love you.”

I was still, not moving nor making a single sound, as He went on.

  “No, My child,  you do not understand…I LOVE YOU!”

The tears had stopped as I glanced up, and I felt a breeze about my body,

I smelled His sweet aroma, and so I shall tell this story.

I said, “Because You are so real, more real than the flesh,

Just because our eyes cannot behold Your image,

Just because our hands cannot touch Your face in return,

Just because we cannot with our ears hear Your voice,

Only means that we are lacking.

It is You who is real, and we who are not.”

I softly smiled as my eyes grew damp once again.

“We are from the ground, but You are everywhere;

in every sight, and in every sound,

even in an infant’s stare.

From the very moment of my birth,

The clock has relentlessly ticked away;

I was dead upon the taking of my first breath,

But you rescued me from the enemy,

and the keys you stole from him.

So if I was dead, and You alive…

it leaves only one conclusion;

You are alive evermore than I,

and I live and breathe because of You.

For when You died, I died,

and when You defeated death,

I was raised from death too.

And for this gift You’ve given me,

You want nothing in return.”

I stopped and He smiled,

As He stretched out His arms,

Opening wide His hands,

Revealing the deepened scars.

He said,  “All I ask is love Me,

“because this I did for you….”

Categories: My Psalms, My Songs/Poems

Tags: Christ, God, Holy Spirit, Jesu, Lord, Lyn Leahz, Near-death experience, YOU!