Just a few years ago, I was sitting on the edge of my bed feeling lonely and sad. It was late, and I’d spent the day talking with the Father about things, and giving Him glory. I had a realization that I think might be true for many of us. All of my life I’d grown up in church and around Christianity. I knew so much of the Bible, and all about the Lord our God. I really loved what I knew about Him, but then I realized this one evening before bed that I only loved what I knew about Him. I realized that although I knew ‘about’ Him and had asked Him into my heart as Lord and Savior, I didn’t really know Him…I mean, like the way you know the person in your life who is the closest to you…that kind of knowing. And so, ashamed, I admitted to God, “Lord, I know you’re already aware of this, but I also know I’m supposed to be up front and admit things to You,” I hesitated, not wanting to utter the words from my mouth, yet I continued regardless.
“Father, I love what I know about You; but I am not in love with You; I know about You, but I do not really know You.” A tear escaped my eye as I glanced down at my feet on the floor, as if He was looking down at me and I couldn’t look Him in the face.
“Lord, please teach me to fall in love with You.Teach me so that I may please You.” And then it hit me that our walk with the Lord is so difficult for us because most of us love what we know, but we aren’t really in love with Him.
When you first met the person you were infatuated with, you would have driven miles and miles to see them for only a few moments. You would rush home and stay up late at night just to read their love letters or to hear their voice. You ate, drank, slept, walked, and talked nothing but that person. Every day, your thoughts and emotions were filled entirely with this person as the butterflies flitted around in your stomach. You couldn’t stop telling everyone about this special someone, and you didn’t care what they thought; you were proud, and you were excited! You’d spend hours in front of the mirror primping, wear your best clothes, and be on your best behavior.
Have you been this way with God? I hadn’t. And this is what I wanted Him to teach me.
A few days later, once again, I was sitting on my bed. At the time, I lived in a two bedroom house and so the add-on family room was my bedroom. I was surrounded by windows. It was a hot, still day, and there hadn’t been a single breeze or movement of the foliage. I was praying. “Lord, we associate love with being touched, touching, seeing someone face to face and eye to eye; we associate love with actually hearing a voice speaking with compassion to us, and more. Father, this is the place in my mind where it is most difficult to fall in love with You. I want to; but I am not sure how when a big, (not the biggest,) part of love is everything I cannot experience with You.”
He spoke to me in my mind, “Lyn, in My Word, the wind is one of the things associated with My Spirit; the Holy Spirit. Tell Me, can you touch the wind?”
I thought about it briefly. “Well no Father, I cannot touch the wind, nor can I see the wind.”
He replied, “But the wind can touch you, and you can see all that the wind touches. When the wind touches the grass and the trees, you can see them dance before Me.”
I smiled, “Yes Lord, I can see what the wind touches.”
In my heart, I could feel our heavenly Father smile back. “You cannot touch the wind, but the wind can touch you; and you can feel it touch you, and see it touch everything! So is My love!”
Just then, and I’m not embellishing, again, I say to you, there had not been a single breeze all day, and I’d been staring out through the windows for about an hour; not one leaf on a tree had so much as quivered; a breeze that I cannot begin to describe gently blew in and wrapped itself around me. There was this feeling, and the best I can do to describe it is to say that I was instantly filled with an array of emotion; happy, peaceful, serene, excitement, love, and more….including feelings I don’t believe are known to mankind. Accompanied with this glorious feeling was an obvious odor. This is another thing I cannot describe; the best thing that comes to my mind is fresh….it was a most fresh, heavenly smell; in fact, it was as if I was inhaling the air of heaven itself. I inhaled deeply, not wanting it to stop, but it did. This entire thing only took place for a brief moment, and then as if it never happened, the leaves and branches on every tree instantly came to a halt all at once.
Out loud, I uttered, “Thank You, Father; for You have touched me with Your hands, the Holy Spirit. In a moment, I have felt the touch of Your hands (the Holy Spirit), the breath from Your lips, deeply inhaled Your glorious smell, and have been taken in a moment’s time to Your heavenly throne, kneeling at Your feet where I belong; for we are part of Your body, the lower parts, yet important; Your feet—the carriers of Your precious Holy Spirit throughout the world!”
The most important part of all of this experience is that when you’re in love with someone—truly in love—it’s not as difficult to be loyal! You don’t feel so alone during your low points; and you trust them completely, so there is no doubt, and no fear. No wonder most people, myself included, have had such a hard time serving God the way we’re supposed to! Are you hearing me? So many of us aren’t truly in love with Him! We love what we know, but we aren’t in love. There’s a difference.
The beginning stages of a new relationship are the most exciting times, but then comes the day when it’s hard work. You’re constantly tilling the ground, planting seeds, and harvesting. Harvest time is the wonderful time because that’s when all of your hard work pays off and you can sit back and enjoy your many efforts. That love, if tended to properly, grows into something much deeper and stronger. There are still things you learn about each other, even years later, and it’s exciting. Over time, you make mistakes and inadvertently hurt one another’s feelings. And when you communicate with your love, you don’t just talk to them, you also sit quietly and listen to them talk to you; you talk WITH them. After all, relationships are give and take, are they not?
Like I said, you’d lay down your life and drive many miles with hardly any money or sleep to spend time with that special person. Would you do this for God? And when you pray, are you doing most of the talking, or are you listening as well? “Be still and know that I am God!” Says the Lord.