THE TEN COMMANDMENTS AWARD
First of all, I would like to thank Arlene the Queen for being so kind as to give me such an award. Thank you Arlene!
The Ten Commandments Exodus 20:3-17. :
1. You shall have no other gods before Me. (I have broken this many times.)
2. You shall not make unto thee any graven image. (The only thing I ever made outside of the ‘norm’ was mud pies as a kid; so I’m safe on this one! Whooh!
3. You shall not take the name of the Lord God in vain. (I don’t think I’ve ever done this one..oh wait, when we say, “Oh God!” but we aren’t really talking to Him..I guess that is the same. So I have.)
4. Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy. (I work on Saturdays, but I try not to do anything ungodly any day of the week!)
5. Honor your father and your mother. (I do, but sure didn’t as a rebellious teen!)
6. You shall not murder. (Except for bugs, I have never been guilty of this one. Although when I live against God’s will, I destroy my own body and my own spirit; so I have been guilty in a spiritual essence toward myself by living in sin.)
7. You shall not commit adultery. (The Bible tells us to look at another person with lust is to commit adultery in the heart. After we get saved, every time we sin, we also cheat on God with Satan.)
8. You shall not steal. (I stole a candy bar once. I was somewhat homeless at the age of 18 years old. I was working for a department store at the time as a cashier. I volunteered to do all nighters; painting the store, cleaning, etc. as well as my job during the day so that I had somewhere to stay. During this time, I had not eaten for days, and so I was hungry. I took a peanut butter snickers candy bar, but I did go to my manager and tell her what I had done. She was not mad and forgave me.)
9. You shall not bear false witness. (We’ve all been guilty of this one in times past! I make it a point to not lie now. Sometimes I’ll catch myself unintentionally over-imbelishing something that happened, but then I jump right in and correct the embellishment.)
10. You shall not covet. (Being a woman, I am most guilty of this. Seeing other women and wanting to look like them, or seeing a nice car, or a nice pair of shoes or clothes..this is probably the hardest one I find myself mostly doing.)
RULES: Besides acknowledging the giver of this award and finding a home for the award on my page, I must answer the following ten questions and nominate ten blogs that I think deserve the award.
1. Describe yourself in seven words. Forgiving, compassionate, real, caring, giving, spiritually sensitive, loving
2. What keeps you up at night? My blog and “the” allergies; sorry, walking in faith, can’t claim them as “MY” allergies.
3. Whom would you like to be? Me without allergies!
4. What are you wearing now? My nursing uniform…had i known I was going to have to answer this question, I would have changed into my evenings-wear! <LOL>
5. What scares you? When I see something at night out of the corner of my eye.
6. What are the best and worst things about blogging? Meeting new people and communicating back and forth with them. Learning about people by what they have to post. Bad? The misinterpretation error is what I’ll call it. When we write, others can’t see our facial expression, nor can they see body language, or hear voice inflection; and so it is that oftentimes people will misunderstand you and take you in the most negative way when you never meant anything like that at all. At that point, no matter how many times you tell some people, “Hey, I don’t mean it that way..taking me wrong..” they don’t hear you. They’re still stuck in brain fart land somewhere.
7. What was the last website you looked at? Arlene the Queens!
8. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be? Less of a talker and a better listener. I do listen very well, but sometimes people don’t know I’m listening because they don’t know that I multi-task well between listening and talking ;-)
9. Slankets, yes or no? If this is some swanky word for blankets, or a type of blanket, or a typo meant to say blanket, I will answer yes. I can’t sleep without blankets! And I must have them (have done this since I was a child when I thought the boogy man would get me! LOL!) pulled up to right beneath my nose.
10. Tell us something about the person who nominated you. Arlene is very strong in the Lord, you can tell this by reading her material on her website. She is also very pretty, if you haven’t noticed. I love her tan, too! I’ve got one myself…but hers looks nicer because it’s not my own! LOL! If that makes any sense. Goes along with Commandment #10; see, I just broke it again! Uggh!
Bonus Question: What is your testimony for Jesus Christ? I was homeless, I was anorexic/bulimic (I used to sit in the bitter cold downtown in nothing but canvas shoes with holes, no socks, a ripped up leather jacket that did not zip, and jeans with paint stains and holes and a shirt with paint stains, no holes. I would sit there at the bus stop watching people drive past in cars wishing someone would stop and offer me a ride…I was so, so cold! I could not even feel my feet. It was my own fault I was homeless because my father wanted me to pay rent. I thought it was ridiculous, so he told me rent, or move. He probably didn’t mean it. Anyhow, to show him up, I packed a suitcase, not knowing where in the heck I was going, and walked out the front door with it. I did come back months later, but they told me they’d have to think about it. I never stayed with a man because I wanted God’s help. I was abused by people, treated like a slave, taken advantage of, everything. It was awful. I have repented for my old lifestyle, and God forgives for what I’ve done…thank you Lord! It’s an ugly past, I must say, and not one that I am proud of. I’m not here to be perfect; God uses our imperfections and sins of our past to reach out and help people. I know He has a great use for me, although I’m not exactly sure what it is just yet. I know He’s using me with the trilogy that He wrote through me, as well as here; but in my heart, I know there is more..something more. It’s not time for me to know yet. My life has been hell. I have suffered much, and it’s my own fault for living in sin and for serving the father of lies. My advice to everyone–don’t try to do it yourself and let go of pride and stubborness. It’ll save you much grief and a few gray hairs!
One more thing, I feel that all of the horrible things in my past has made me more of a giving, forgiving, compassionate, and loving person. Whenever it is cold, I see someone sitting there shivering and I feel so sorry for them. I used to be forced to sit outside for hours in freezing rain by these mean people I lived with during this time who took my entire paycheck every wee and left me with $10. They gave me no key. So when it’s raining, whether cold or not, and I see someone stranded or stuck in it, I pray for God’s protection and offer the person a ride or shelter. When I see workers working and it’s unfathomably hot, I have taken them drink to cool off with if I’m in a place where I can do so. When I see a person struggling to walk across the snow and ice, I get out of my car, take their arm, and help them across. (An elderly man at a gas station grabbed the hood of my car for dear life and stared straight into my face with a look of horror; he almost slipped and fell on the ice and snow. I was running late for work, but if he fell, it could ruin the rest of his life. What was on write-up compared to this man’s life? So I waited for him and took his hand and walked him to his car. He was thankful.) I love the weary and broken-hearted even more because I was once like them. I allow the helpless and the sick to take advantage of my time and of me as much as they want because I know how they feel. I have a big heart full of love and would never ever intentionally hurt another in any way because I have hurt so much.
I failed to mention, I was a teenage run-a-way as well. I ran away to many different states far away from mine. I was raped, drugged up, beat up…a girl beat me up after they gave me some drug they called a “silly” pill. I was a vegetable. I was aware of everything going on, but could not move, as she held a knife at me, punched me, fractured my nose, bloodied my lip..it was awful. I was only an eleventh grader at the time. Finally, my friend and I had to turn ourselves in to the police after running out of places to go. My parents were informed and came to pick us up. Just as they crossed the state line, we took off again, but then turned ourselves back in two days later. I can’t believe I ever did such a thing. I remember eating nothing, and showering at swimming pool showers late at night.
I moved into a place that had a mold problem. God’s protection was not upon me, nor did I include him in this move. When I repented of all of these things and gave my life wholly to God, I became sicker and sicker (not that getting saved makes one sick..) but because I had repented and turned back to God, Satan didn’t like it and was determined to hit me as hard as He could to get me to come back to him. I even have had thoughts in the past that were not my own; I will call them whispers in the ear, because it was no different from someone else saying it to me, because it wasn’t how I felt. But I had thoughts come to me, “If you just stop serving God and go back to your old ways, I will give you back your health. God isn’t going to heal you! As long as you fight it, you are going to be sick!” I would rebuke these things, and still went many years with this illness…weeping and lamenting before God, “Why Lord? What is it that I have done? I am so sorry for all that I have done Lord! Please forgive me and release me from this!” The Lord kept telling me I was forgiven, and that this wasn’t the reason I was ill, but that was all. I had to trust in Him through this entire thing that I wasn’t going to die, and that I would eventually be healed and not die; although I swear on many occasions I was going to.
My thoughts? The Lord allowed this to bring me to true repentance (which took years..although I did receive many words from strangers over the past years through this, “surrender to the Lord!” they would tell me. But I didn’t know what that meant.) This whole thing forced me to completely surrender by completely leaning on Him, without any help or confidence from the stunned doctors who couldn’t figure out what my problem was. Also, I would add to this, because I’ve had so many close calls, beginning before I was even born (almost miscarried, almost died from severe colic, was in a car that was about to explode, several near death experiences with eating disorders, actually did die briefly once, as mentioned above, had a minor heart attack from eating disorders, and now this…in the fourth stage…heart failure was going to hit me at anytime…) So, I feel that since God has always rescued me from death, death is mad. So I think death torments me since it can’t have me because it is not yet my time. God has allowed it because he cares more about my soul than my physical. Yes, He cares for my physical..but remember, this body is temporary, and the soul is forever…either forever in hell or forever in heaven…and if suffering means surrender and repentance, then it was all worth it in the end.
I thank God I am even alive! Praise You heavenly Father for delivering me so many times from my worst enemy..myself..through rebellion and stubbornness. Thank you for delivering me from the hands of death, and that Satan is defeated! Amen!
NOMINEES: (Please note…there are many people that deserve to be added to this list, and some of them would not accept this award if I were to offer it. God bless all of you! I am humbled by the awards, and it makes me feel good that this website is appreciated so much; thank you! However, my real rewards await me in heaven, praise God!